Crush, how can I tell if she likes me too?

HELP, I really have a crush on a girl at school. How can I tell if she likes me too?  I have a class with her and I sometimes see her in the hall but, I don’t know what to do. I am 15 and so is she.  

Thank you for emailing and asking Life’s Baggage.  This is a situation happens to us all. There is someone you think looks great and seems so wonderful…but how can you find out if you never talk.   First, it depends on the situation.   If you are in a big school she may not know who you are.  If you are in a smaller school she may know you as you have grown up together.  Start with analyzing whether she knows who you are.  Ask yourself these questions and observe her actions (not in a creepy way)

  • Does she smile at you?
  • Have you made eye contact?
  • Have the two of you ever talked?
  • Do you have any friends in common?

As every situation is unique it is good to start with answering these questions. IF she smiles at you and makes eye contact that is a great sign.  This means she is more approachable and she knows you exist. If you have talked with her this is even better, it means it will be easier to get to know her better.  If you have friends in common this is a great way to ask if they know anything useful about her.  From answering these questions you should have a good idea on her interest level or lack of interest.  Either way it is not time to give up.

To start try making a little more eye contact than normal. When you get her attention give her a little smile and look away.  You will seem more appealing if you don’t seem obsessed so it is important to not cross the line.  You want to seem friendly and approachable and peak her interest. See if you can happen to pass her in the hall and make eye contact and smile but, don’t stare.  You do this a few times then try adding a “hi.”

Now that you have a little attention from her it is time to consider if you two would even be a match. Here are some questions to consider when deciding to continue to pursue her.  Remember:  Just because you like her doesn’t automatically mean you would be a great fit.  It could just be you are attracted to her but it will never go further. Here are some questions to ask yourself:  teen boys reading

  • Do you have any interests in common?
  • What does she like to do in her free time?
  • Is one of you more social than the other one?

These are all very important. If you have interests in common it will make conversation flow easier.  It will also show that your personalities may mesh as well.  You could be in the same club, sport, work place, or classes.  If you both like similar things in your free time this is also a great sign!  Maybe you enjoy the same music or activity.  If you are both very social or very shy this may be good as well.  You are looking for opportunities to get to know her better before you ask her on a date.  If you have nothing in common it doesn’t mean that it won’t work but, it will sure make it difficult to get to know her or to talk on a date. If this is the case it is time for you to think about why you like her.  If it is just because of her looks then you should probably look for another crush but don’t give up on her.


Good Luck!

Life’s Baggage

PS:  Look for out new ebook about crushing…launching in a March.

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